J Cooper Photography

It is going to take a good long time to process all I learned this weekend.  But I am really excited about one concept that struck me HARD.

We’ve been on “survival mode” for quite some time now.  It started in September with the stress of job interviews…continued in October with single parenting.  We kicked it up a notch in November with a move and then just kept going in December with home renovations.  And somewhere in the midst of the packing and organizing and painting it happened.

I started being a reactive parent.

My kids deserve much more than that.  They deserve more than me merely reacting to their poor behavior.  They deserve more than me reacting to our schedule, their homework, or their requests to play.

They deserve a PRO-active parent.

I am so excited about this concept!  I have been thinking and praying about how to work towards my goal of parenting them in a new way.  Nothing huge.  No big outward changes.  But it will definitely be a change in my heart and I can’t wait to see how God uses it in the lives of my little people.  I’ve been making some mental lists of which qualities I really want to encourage in each child (and which ones I’d like to see diminish).  I’ve started praying about those qualities with them and speaking TRUTH into them already.  And would you believe I’ve already seen a change?

We’ve had some crazy, wacky January weather here in the corn fields.  Yesterday I {pro-actively} jumped at the chance to play outside for the afternoon despite the stacks of homework and dinner calling.

Just a perfect afternoon with the four little people who have stolen my heart.

I can’t even begin to tell you all what an amazing weekend I had at the Created for Care retreat in Atlanta.  Mr. P hunkered down with the kids (he even got some painting done!) and graciously allowed me a weekend full of adoption talk, learning, and friendship.  If you’ve adopted, plan to adopt, or just love adoption…PLEASE consider attending the March conference!

{AGCI Mamas}

{a new/old friend Bobi Bobbitt and I meeting up}

{The Librarian, Lovelyn Palm, and I finally meeting after way too long}

To be honest, when Thursday evening rolled around, I didn’t even want to go.  After a week as a single parent and struggling to control some health issues…I was just tuckered out.  But I knew if I could just get there…I’d be revived  So I headed out at 4:30 am Friday morning to catch my flight and I knew it was the right decision the moment I walked into the lobby of the Lanier Lodge.

{one of the many amazing sessions}

{my roomies}

I learned an immense amount about adoption.   I hugged long time friends whom I’ve never seen in person.  I stayed up into the wee hours praying for those in process and laughing with newly made friends.  I worshiped.  I forgot my room number and was accused of being an intruder by the front desk as at 2am.  I shopped for African beads.  I lamented that I couldn’t eat.  I soaked up wise council from mamas who know a heck of a lot more than me.  I made some new priorities.  I fell in love with my kids again.  I didn’t take any good pictures.  I blog stalked people.  I furiously took notes during sessions that made my head swim and my heart beat wild.  I drove in crazy Atlanta traffic.  I hugged.  I tormented my sister.  I grew.

{AGCI Mamas unite}

All I have to share from my weekend is a smattering of my crummy pictures and a few I stole from Facebook.

Oh….and a FULL heart.  {and a lot of things to process}

And on a side note.  While I was out of town….guess what the littles were doing?  {Lord, have mercy}

It is so cliche.  But seriously.  She was a toddler yesterday.  And now she’s lost her two front teeth. {Hard to see with that little tongue poking through}  She’s a tough cookie.  She let’s me pull them as soon as they are wiggly…doesn’t even flinch.  Nerves of steel.  Or maybe it’s that dollar bill…but whatever it takes!

And don’t get me started on the baby.  We went for a haircut yesterday and cut 3-4″ off the top!  When the hair stylist asked “What do you think?”  I yelled…”HE LOOKS OLD!”  {Sigh}

Danny Boy…don’t you go getting any wild ideas about growing up fast!

It is hard to believe but the calendar says we’ve been Cornhuskers now for TWO full months.  Somehow I thought I’d feel more settled.   Or at least maybe I’d have my act together.  But, alas.  Time is slipping by and I’m just gonna have to run alongside and try not to miss too many moments.

Getting ready to head to ATLANTA to meet up with 400 other adoption moms this weekend.   I’m so thrilled to finally meet so many AGCI moms in person.  I hope I can figure out who is who.  I suggested that everyone should wear a button with their child’s photo…then I could say…”hey, I know you…you are Johnny’s mommy!”  And I wouldn’t feel like a heel for not being able to place a name with a face!  If you are going to the conference…PLEASE KNOW…that I am as bad with names as I am about finding my car in the parking lot.  But I know ALL your kids’ names

Grab hold of your day today!  It’s the only one you get!

Someone told me this weekend to keep posting pictures of the house projects.  Am I boring you yet with the white paint?

Well then…let’s carry on (if you shouted a resounding “YES!” you might skip over this post although it IS more about flooring and less about painting but there is a certain white theme that seems to run rampantly through my posts these days).

Way back at the beginning of December my in-laws came.  I guess I never shared that week’s progress in the laundry room.  I’ve never had a legitimate laundry room before.  Closet, yes.  Scary basement dungeon, yes.  Teeny, tiny cubicle, yes.  So this is my first foray into the world of laundry rooms.  Three cheers for a laundry basket tower!!  And cubbies with a hook for each little person! Since this picture I have since primed the entire room in…wait for it….WHITE!!  And then I stalled out because we got distracted by other projects.  But I will be sure to share as soon as this one is wrapped up!

Last weekend the menfolk decided to get cracking on the flooring we ordered for the living room.  We debated flooring for several months for that room (as well as the family room).  The living room had white-ish carpet.  And for once…I was a white hater.  It was Granny-ish and stained and ULTRA plush which was chanelling my inner 90s girl…but despite my best attempts to bring back the matching Aqua Net bangs (I ROCKED THOSE BAD BOYS!) it had to go.

The fireplace got scooted out of the way…and out came the carpet and pad.  It was back breaking work (mostly for me as I was on kid duty the entire time) and took the men much longer than anticipated.  But we saved oogles of money by DIYing it ourselves.  THE GOOD NEWS:  The floor is in!  THE BAD NEWS:  We have to do it all again in the family room!

We went with a pre-finished wood flooring for several reasons.  We have solid oak flooring throughout the main level in the new house.   It’s been down for 20+ years and has been refinished several times.  We debated unfinished 2 1/4 wood that would be stained to match our existing flooring.  But we were scared of the dust and fumes (we’ve gone that route before) and worried that in the end we still wouldn’t have a perfect match.  So we opted for pre-finished flooring in the same color tones but in a compeltely different style.

Enter 4″ hand scraped hickory.  I love you.

We got a great deal at The Nebraska Furniture Mart (I love stores that utilize the word “mart”) and saved about $3000 by installing it ourselves.

Meanwhile, our dining room has become the holding ground for displaced furniture.

Then we turned our attention to the walls.

The boards and battens started going up.  I’m fairly sure I won’t be board and battening our entire house.  I’m fairly sure I will likely never tackle another board and batten project as long as we both live.

We used primed 1×4 MDF.  It really wasn’t that difficult.  But I’m not a spatial kind of gal so determining the placement of each board was killer for me.  I invited my Mom over for dinner and then held her hostage until she helped me measure and place each board.  If you are one of those gal that can find your parked car after leaving the mall, you’ll probably be just fine at this project!

She’ll be pretty when she’s all…purple.  (psych!)  Oh, white, white, paint…how I love thee

The room is ready for painting now!  Who’s coming over during naptime tomorrow to help me knock it out?? Anyone?  Anyone??

And just in case this overly wordy post has you thinking that we are just steam rolling ahead….please know that with all projects come disaster.

My craft room.  Case in point.

I promise to post tomorrow about lost teeth, or baby haircuts, or my laundry routine for all of those white paint haters out there

Hasta leugo mi amigos!

So I’ve gotten a couple of comments lately along the lines of…”how do you do it all?”  And to be honest….when I’ve read them I have literally choked on my own spit.  The idea that I “do it all” is flattering but really makes me want to just roll around on the floor laughing hysterically.  The internet is a funny place.  I can spend 20 minutes surfing online reading blogs and pinning on Pinterest and come away with the following conclusions:

1.  Every other stay at home mom gets dressed each day in the perfect jeans, trendy sweater, stylishly pricey boots, and coordinating handbag (don’t forget the jewels!)

2.  Every other mom has time to clean her house using homemade products that won’t harm her children or add pollutants to the household air.

3.  Every other mom is able to meticulously create elaborate crafts and write a complete tutorial at nap time every day.

4.  Every other mom lives inside a house where every room has board and batten wainscoting and an Ethan Allen couch covered in the coveted grey/gold Target pillow (you KNOW which one I mean)

5.  Every other mom is able to control her children.  They are well spoken, polite, and always have the most clever comment to make at just the right moment.

6.  Every other mom has a thriving side business which makes her enough money to take her extended family to Disney World twice a year.

7.  Every other mom effortlessly raises sixteen orphaned children in her 2 bedroom house.   Of course they all love each other!

8.  Every other mom has dinner prepared at 6pm sharp using only organically grown vegetables from her own garden.  She took step by step photographs of each of her 10 course meal which contains enough antioxidents to eradicate small pox again.

9.  Every other mom is happy.  All day long.  Every day.

10.  I am NOT every other mom.

It doesn’t take us long does it?  To feel overwhelmed and behind the eight ball?  In this crazy internet driven world we are more connected than ever….but hiding behind others perceptions of ourselves.

I hope above all else…when you read this blog….you just see a mom trying to get by.  We eat hot dogs for dinner.  Heck…sometimes we don’t even eat dinner.  My kids make farting noises at the dinner table.  Tonight’s conversation revolved around The Brainiac’s Science Fair idea of making a mini hot air balloon powered by hamster farts.  Hows that for a perfectly placed clever remark??  My point is…LIFE IS MESSY!  And it is just as messy at the Cooper house as it is at yours.  I’m wagering it might even be messier

So here’s a list of the messes of our week for posterity (lest anyone think we’ve got our act together all the time!)

1.  grumpy mommy on duty while the menfolk lay wood floors for FOUR days

2.  teething toddler getting 4 molars and 2 eye teeth

3.  pediatrician appointments for a referral to a behavior therapist to see my 19 month old who has discovered the joys of self-induced vomiting (oh, yes he does!)

4.  girl drama

5.  gastroparesis flare ups that have me hurling at the sight of the lunch meat in my kids’ school lunches

6.  a major FLOOD in our laundry room which warped the wood flooring and ruined the ceiling downstairs

7.  a broken furnace when it is 8*

8.  a doctor appointment  that revealed a sinus infection, hernia, and gastrointestinal infection in one visit

9.  tears over paint colors

10.  banishing our 3 year old to the basement to play “sword fighting” on the Wii.

Clearly, our life is messy   Usually I highlight the Best of the Best here on the blog because…well….nobody like a whiner.  But a good dose of reality never hurt anyone either.  We’re still settling into this new life here in the cornfields.  Adjusting to the lack of good shopping.  Looking for friends (I’ve considered placing an ad on Craigslist…tacky or not…what do you think?)  Finding doctors and dentists and hairdressers and therapists and ballet teachers and violin teachers.

But in the end we are here.  And if we can look closely at this mess we’ll see that God has us right where He wants us….mess and all

You know you’ve had a long week when your Dad calls you from work in the middle of the day to “check in” with you.   He called me his “hurdle girl”.  He said, “you’ve always jumped over any hurdle…you’ve just got too many set up right now”.  And that stuck.  Life gets messy when I’m in control.  Time to take the backseat and enjoy the ride a bit I think

And because I can’t help myself…a few highlights from the middle of the mess:

1.  Super Sam finally retiring “Jingle Bells”

2.  Dantisimo’s  first 2 word phrase “Bye Bye Baboo”

3.  Awana verses from little voices

4.  75% off Matilda Jane 2 hour sale

5.  hardwood floors

6.  a phone call from a friend whose voice made me cry

7.  compassion from a doctor who listened

8.  a husband who packed lunches for me

9.  a mom as a  best friend

10.  hamster farts

A day off from school meant that all of the littles were free to visit Gaga with some tasty treats.  We slept in.  Bundled up.  Picked out some glazed, chocolate glazed, and sugar coated donuts and went to see her.  She was having a rough morning but I think the kids sweet stories and snuggles brightened her day.  She brightened ours.

{no one said these four were easy to photograph!}

These are the reasons we moved back “home”.  So my little people can see their big people and be a part of their lives.  That’s easy to forget during the trauma of post-moving stress.  But yesterday was a simple reminder.  As we were leaving Gaga said, “today had a rough start…but I’m better now.”  That’s reason enough for me!

It’s often “just” a day off from school in the middle of January.  But I don’t want to forget the huge sacrifice made by many to boldly stand for freedom in this country.  As I explained Civil Rights to my girls this afternoon, I choked back tears.  It all seems so unfair and awful…and sadly still permeates our society today.  But we have the opportunity to shape our youth to see beyond the boundaries and into the hearts of others.  And I’m thankful to the core for what “The Dream” has meant for our family.

“Let us not wallow in the valley of despair, I say to you today, my friends.

And so even though we face the difficulties of today and tomorrow, I still have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in the American dream.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal.”

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by the content of their character.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day…little black boys and black girls will be able to join hands with little white boys and white girls as sisters and brothers.

I have a dream today!

I have a dream that one day every valley shall be exalted, and every hill and mountain shall be made low, the rough places will be made plain, and the crooked places will be made straight; “and the glory of the Lord shall be revealed and all flesh shall see it together.”

Martin Luther King, Jr.

One year ago tonight our lives changed for the better.  We brought Daniel into our home and hearts.  We are so thankful for him and all he has taught us this year about God’s love.

Happy Gotcha Day sweet boy…you are loved.

I have a love affair with Pinterest.  Not quite the same intensity of affair as The Librarian (oh man will I pay for that comment), but I do love it nonetheless.  I searched for “heart garland” a few days ago when I was having a moment of craftiness and found these adorable examples.

source

source

So the girls and I scurried out to the craft store and came up with our own little version Instagram style.

needed:

double sided scrapbook paper

heart punch or a zealous cutting hand

thread

sewing machine or a granny to do some serious running stitches for you by hand

{ready your supplies – I opted to save my “love” letters for another project}

{punch your little heart out – ha!}

{stitch ‘em up}

{keep on keeping on}

{untangle your mess}

{hang ‘em up!  you might consider taking down your Christmas decor first…or not!}

Easy peasy.  Cute little way to brighten your day

When we moved in…the living room was a big beige box.  I was so grateful for the extra space.  But I just could not get excited about that room.  Big oak french doors leading into a sea of pale beige carpet, yellowish beige walls, and the biggest, UGLIEST, fireplace.  We learned at the inspection that this fireplace was ELECTRIC.  Meaning…that bad boy is simply plugged into the wall.  At first I was glad…that meant I could get rid of it.  But then I felt guilty.  I mean, someone spent a lot of money on that big, ugly thing.  So we opted to give it a face lift and see if we could dress her up a bit!

{inserting a pre-apology that many of the images are iphone captures from before we had our home PC up and running!}

Here she is in all her original “glory”.  It’s hard to tell her scale from some of the pictures…but she is a beast of a thing.  Our living rooms is 24″ long and she is huge!

Sanded down and ready for a good coat of primer.

Feeling a bit happier with a nice coat of white primer to cover up the expanse of oak.

After several coats of “creamy white” Sherwin Williams Pro Classic paint in semi-gloss she was nearly a new woman.  But the tacky metal surround was still really bothering me.  I just couldn’t come to terms with the drab green sponge painted look.  And the flat hearth looked cheap laying on the floor (it was actually just a piece of metal that the fireplace sat atop).  So Mr. P and my Dad built a raised hearth and my mom and I headed out to find some tile that I loved.  I settled on a glass mosaic tile.   I loved the variations of white and thought it added a fun modern touch to the room!

The hearth building in process

Here she is all blinged out and ready for the ball.   One of the most amazing moments of her transformation came when my Dad realized that her ugly brass trim was simple MAGNETIC strips which we could snap off in a jiffy!

Now she is the show stopper of the room and is putting our other fireplaces to shame.

There are still lots of big plans for this room.  Including: hardwood floors (on order and being delivered tomorrow),  board and batten on the walls in creamy white,  new paint on the upper portion of the walls (goodbye body fluid tan), and painted trim (crown molding and window trim).   But even in her current state…this might easily be my favorite room in the house so far.

So that is the rags to riches story of our little fireplace…once an ugly duckling….now a beautiful addition to our music room!