J Cooper Photography

I can honestly say that I was completely in love with my son the first time I met him.  God grew that love in my heart while we waited for him…through the paperwork trials, our referral call, the excruciating wait for a court date, and the disappointment of canceled travel, the love grew and grew.  There was no doubt in my mind that this was the son God had granted me.

But getting to know him has been completely different.  He has brought immense joy to our house already with his willing smile, chunky thighs, and belly laughs.  But there is also a part of me that is constantly comparing him to that “perfect baby”.  You know the one.  The one “that other family” brought home a few weeks later (or earlier…or from another country…or with the curlier hair).  Never have I been more aware of my imperfect nature as a parent.  The temptation to compare my child (my perfect child that was God-chosen just for me) to others still creeps into my daily thoughts.  And when I’m praising my 9 month old for his continued effort to roll over or find his toes…I can’t help but watch those “others” who are toddling around the room.  It’s what we do as moms, isn’t it?  Oh, how I long to just love my child without expectation the way God loves me!

Maybe that is too much honesty.

I am beyond proud of Daniel and all he has accomplished in his short life.  If you heard his story you would be shocked that he is even here today.  God has poured his grace into his life in inmeasurable ways.   But the hardships that he faced as an infant (low birth weight, malnutrition, respiratory illness) are hard to overcome in such a short time.  Day after day he keeps smiling and working…and we are making great gains!

This week we met with a therapist who evaluated Daniel for in home sessions of weekly physical therapy.  He easily qualified and I am so excited to get started!  His motor skills (gross and fine motor) are easily 3-4 months behind his age.  There are some things which he has recently mastered (sitting, clapping, waving bye-bye) which show that he is completely ABLE to gain control over his muscles with a bit more practice and exposure to the right exercises.  This is great news because it means he will likely be able to “catch up” to the appropriate milestones for his age.

We have had another concern with Daniel that I have been more quiet about.  We first noticed it during our first trip to Ethiopia in November.  Daniel’s eyes were not focusing correctly and seemed to “stray” outwards at times.  We have continued to watch him while we have been home, and although it has gotten somewhat better as he has gained strength…it is still present.   I finally took the plunge and made an appointment with a pediatric ophthalmologist who had the problem diagnosed within a matter of minutes in her office.   Most likely, Daniel has “V Pattern Exotropia“.  Basically, his eyes tend to stray outward when he looks up and then become more focused and “in line” as he lowers his eyes.  One of the ways that she diagnosed this was by the way he holds his head while sitting (with his chin up).  Both eyes seem to be straying a bit but it is intermittent and not always noticeable.  For now we will just keep tabs on the condition as he gains strength over the next few months.  He doesn’t need glasses…YEAH (I was worried about that!)  If the problem persists over the next few months then he will require eye surgery to fix the problem.  Fortunately, it isn’t something that is overtly obvious.  In fact, I was beginning to wonder if I was imagining the whole thing up.  So I was actually relieved to hear that my concerns were valid! {I don’t plan to post any pictures of Daniel doing his “eye thing” although I have captured quite a few.  I think it is my job as his mommy to present him to the world in the most flattering way possible…so you’ll be wasting your time looking for any straying eyes in these pictures }

This beautiful boy has been such an immense blessing.  His resilience and determination are mind boggling to me at times.  He came home almost 2 months ago as a newborn…eating around the clock, sleeping only in tiny cat naps, guzzling formula, and wanting to be held continually.  Now he is sleeping through the night, eating three meals a day, sitting and playing, and babbling constantly!    {So a little note to self: STOP WITH THE COMPARING!!!}

My husband is on a flight home RIGHT NOW from Taiwan and I have never in my life been more happy to report that after TEN DAYS as a single parents…I will finally have relief.  Now someone else can help me worry