J Cooper Photography

The last few days have been hard.  While I am so thankful for a beautiful Christmas with my 3 little people…it was certainly bittersweet.  We had a quiet weekend in Nebraska…a reflective Christmas Eve service, cookie decorating (and even more cookie eating), and a bit of shopping therapy.  It felt good to get away and clear our minds (and hearts) a bit.  But the coming home was hard.  Looking into the backseat at the empty car seat snugged in tight was hard.  Seeing Ms. Middle’s celebratory artwork on the chalkboard wall was hard.  Tripping over Daniel’s packed suitcase at the foot of my bed was hard.

But here’s the thing…God never promised this would be easy.  And although my heart is breaking that I can’t hold my baby yet, I’m relieved I don’t have to be strong.  I don’t have to make it through the next few weeks until we can get a new Embassy date…because God is over the details.  It isn’t lost on me that God has asked us to make this “small” sacrifice during this season of our lives.  I have never been more aware of the sacrifice HE made in order to bring me into His family.  God knows all about heart ache.  He delivered His ONLY and PERFECT son to a fallen world as the atonement for ME.  He watched Jesus grow up and start his career…and eventually be murdered on a cross for the sins of mankind.  That’s heart ache.

I would love to wish the disappointment away but somehow this is part of Daniel’s journey.  Somehow God is going to do amazing GOOD from this….and I’m just going to sit back and be amazed.
I just keep thinking…”It’s gonna be worth it…”

One of the families in our travel group got that last minute miracle call Thursday and is in Ethiopia right now.  And when they should have been focused on their own child without a care in the world…they were snuggling MY boy…taking his pictures…and giving him hugs from us.  This afternoon they sent me a beautiful picture of Daniel doing a bit of tummy time out in the courtyard.  He has a head full of fresh new curls and is definitely working on those bicep muscles   And although his picture made me so happy I felt sad…I know in my heart that he is fine.  He’s enjoying his days at Hannah’s Hope just like he has for the past 5 months.  He’s not laying around pining away for me (it sure does make me feel better to this he is though!)  He’s happy and growing strong and smiling for everyone who brings a camera nearby.

Our case worker called today to touch base and give us the specifics on the additional information the US Embassy is requesting.  Unfortunately, she didn’t have that information for Daniel’s case so we are still in the dark.  We are hoping to hear something soon!  We continue to pray that everything will be worked out so that we can travel for the January 10th apt.

I don’t understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I’m not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I’m desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You

It’s gonna be worth it
It’s gonna be worth it
It’s gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It’s gonna be worth it
It’s gonna be worth it
It’s gonna be worth it all
I believe this

You’re gonna be worth it
You’re gonna be worth it
You’re gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You’re gonna be worth it
You’re gonna be worth it
You’re gonna be worth it all
I believe this

(from “Worth it all” by Rita Springer)