J Cooper Photography

{Happiest of Birthdays to our sweet Danny Boy}

Many more thoughts to come.  But for today…YES…I DO believe you are gonna change the world little one.

You’ve already changed our hearts.  And I’m pretty certain you’ve changed a few others along the way as well.

We love you more every day!

I wrote a post on Facebook today to some adoption friends asking this question…”Do you all ever feel completely under qualified to parent your children?”  Is it just me?  Please tell me you feel this way too.

I parented along for 8 years feeling fairly confident in my abilities.  There were little hiccups along the way.  Like when The Brainiac refused to take a bath for 2 weeks straight.  Or Miss Middle twirled her hair into little knots at night that required the hair scissors.  We mostly worked through those issues.  And I was naive enough to think we had pretty much done it on our own.  Hey, we are smart people.  I have a master’s degree in Violin Performance.  That ought to count for something, right? {HA HA!}

Then along came Danny.  And he has rocked every parenting choice I have made to the core.  I’ve questioned my questions.  I’ve actually read a couple of  parenting books and I’m a self professed “self help book hater”.  What I’m trying to say…is I’m a failure.

It’s not a new issue…it’s just new to me.  I was so busy parenting along all those years I didn’t realize how much I was failing.  But now it is so crystal clear to me.  Like a mac truck running over my face.  I’m completely UN-equipped for this job and there are four little people who are hoping I’ll figure it out sometime before they reach adulthood.

The amazing part of this dilemma is that in MY weakness…God is strong.  I can feel like a failure some days and it is ok.  Because God has the entire situation under control and really doesn’t need me anyways (whew…what a relief!)

So here’s the plan now.  I’m going to put one foot in front of the other every day (that was some great advice from a friend today).  I’m going to love my kids and pour into them.  I’m going to set boundaries and try to enforce them with patience and grace.  And I’m going to just smile (hey…fake it til you make it) and PRAY these little people into grown ups.

Today I heard more hard stuff about this little boy I adore.   I’ve been wanting some answers for a few weeks…and I got them.  Unfortunately, they weren’t what I really wanted to hear.   We are probably looking at at least another year of work before he walks on his own.   We are ordering new braces (taller ones) and our own personal walker.   We don’t think he has much feeling in his left leg.  I’m applying for a handicap sticker for our car.

These aren’t the things that define us as a family.  But it is HARD to hear that your child isn’t “perfect”.  I think I’m still grieving his diagnosis for him (and for me).

I’ve had some great suggestions from readers about Danny’s therapy.  Just to clarify.  We participate in our school’s Early Intervention Program which offers free therapy in our home up to age 3.   He’s been utilizing this service since February of last year just 6 weeks after coming home.  After his Cerebral Palsy and PVL diagnosis we also started receiving medically based PT and OT through a local Rehabilitation Hospital.   This has been AMAZING for his progress!  Unfortunately, our insurance only covers 20 sessions PER YEAR and we will quickly burn through those before the end of the summer.  We could pay out of pocket for a few additional sessions.  But even if I broke my TJ Maxx habit…we can’t afford weekly sessions to continue.

So we are PRAYING our insurance will make an exception at the recommendation of his neurologist!!

{In the sensory room…practicing tracking his eyes near and far…which I’ve got to say…he ROCKED.  Gotta love a 6 foot tall lava lamp!}

{Petting Thumper…his reward for walking all the way down the hallway}

{Blurry….but Holy Cuteness!}

With at least FOUR therapy sessions every week (sometimes more)…we are BUSY BUSY!   I’m learning to juggle this new normal and trying to remain THANKFUL for this opportunity for him to learn and grow.   I am beyond thankful too for a BIG GOD who has got this all under control….cause I know for sure, I don’t!

I tend to paint.  I know that doesn’t sound logical at all.  Life has been stressful lately.  We are trying to settle into a new normal routine that now includes therapy four times a week on top of our other weekly commitments.  Throw in a handful of end-of-the-year recitals/concerts/parties…and you end up with one slightly stressed out Mama.  So I paint.  Which theoretically adds more stress.  But, whatever.  Roll with me here!

Projects help me blow off steam.  So when I should be getting ahead on the laundry or washing down my sticky kitchen floor…I’m rolling up Sherwin William’s “Southern Beauty” late into the night.

The girls have been {mostly} patiently waiting for us to tackle their rooms.  I wanted to get the main floor whipped into shape before I headed upstairs…but there are still plenty of projects waiting for me there too.  When we were looking at houses I was insistent on 4 bedrooms.  We were blessed with a house that has FIVE upstairs (and two more in the basement…hoping to raise a whole African village here someday!)  This was a happy surprise because it meant that the girls could go back to having their OWN ROOMS.   Miss Middle declared her space “The Fairy Room” for the first three months we lived here.  But she has apparently grown up a lot in the first grade and now considers herself a “mini tween”.  She informed me a few weeks ago that she wants a teen room.  To which I replied “YOU ARE SEVEN!!!!!” in my most calm and understated voice.  And then I painted her room the softest shade of baby pink I could find.  (I’m also one of those evil moms who dresses my girls in LITTLE GIRL clothing.  Pure Evil).

These are just a few sneak peeks at her room.  We still need to paint the window and patch one spot on the wall (where we removed the totally rad intercom).  I need to hem and re-hang her curtains and find some fun pillows for her window seat.  And maybe a shaggy rug.

We resurrected her quilt from several years ago (it was in storage as we were using twin beds in the last house).   The ONLY things I had to purchase were the hoops for the fabric ($1 each at a flea market) and the fun pom pom garland from TJ Maxx for a whopping $5.99.   Everything else was a re-use, re-purpose, recycle!

I’ll try to pop back in with a few more details as we fill in a bit!   She is pretty excited to finally have a space to call her own!

Thankful to spend the day with the little ones who made me a mom.

Thankful for a mom who is a best friend.

Thankful for my Gaga and her bond with my little ones.

And praying for all my friends who are moms today.  Those with kids.  Those longing for kids.  Those who have lost kids or their own mom.  Those with kiddos on the other side of the world.  And the the “first moms” who give sacrificially to make motherhood possible for others.

Happy Mother’s Day!

Hi all…thanks for all the support you showed for Ann’s awesome GIVEAWAY!   Happy to announce the WINNER is….

CAMILLE BRANTLEY who said “Love it! I’d have one for my hubby and me, then one for each kiddo, and perhaps a bible verse or two to remind us of things we’ve overcome.

Message Ann through Hip Mom Jewelry on Facebook or via her WEBSITE to discuss details!

Found this picture The Brainiac made on my computer awhile ago.   Gets me in the mood for SUMMER!  Too bad I’m not a golden tan like my drawing which she titled “Mommy in the Sun”.  But check out my awesome hot pink gladiator sandals.  I’ve got style  And maybe some collagen in my lips.

Thanks to all who participated!

Dear Bertha Compton,

You were a wonder with paints.  Your perseverance is remarkable…crafting your art for nearly a decade.  1975 to 1982 were productive years for you.  Never one to waste those tubes of aqua blue, olive green, and peachy peach paint.  You stayed in the lines like a pro.  Oh, Bertha Mae.  I don’t know if your middle name was Mae…but it just feels right.  I’m happy to hang your works of art above our throne.  I bet you were a classy gal…hair coiffed with Aqua Net wearing your favorite polyester mauve slacks.  I bet your sweetie Bubba filled up your tank of gas for you the night before the Wednesday ladies bridge club.  I can picture you now…standing in the arts and crafts aisle at the Five and Dime….carefully plotting your next masterpiece.  Don’t you think for one minute that I overlooked that subtle water theme.  Brilliant.  Don’t you think that just because I purchased your entire life’s work for a mere $25 at a flea market, that it isn’t appreciated.  True talent rarely is.

Sincerely,

Your biggest fan

We’ve finally finished up the little powder room on the main level! I wish I had a proper BEFORE picture.  But this room is tiny with a capital T.   Just enough room to turn around and sit down.  You can touch the sink from the toilet…a bit of an elevator shaft in there!   THIS POST shows it at its worst.   Olive green wallpaper floor to ceiling and oak trim.  Dark, dark, dark.   I peeled off the wallpaper half way down (didn’t worry about getting it off under where the bead board was going to be installed) and painted it SW’s Urban Putty…because we had a gallon hanging around the house and my main purpose was BRIGHT and CHEAP!

Come on in!

Someone asked awhile ago whether we are going to paint our doors?  As of today….no.  They are solid pine and really pretty (they look more red in these pictures than they are in real life).  So far I like the contrast with the white trim because it warms it up a bit…but I’m not married to the idea of keeping them stained.

{There are lots of doors in this little hallway…gotta help the guests out.  Now if I could just keep my kid’s grubby hands off my cute chalkboard!}

It used to look like The Pit of Despair when you opened the door.  Now it is happy and bright.

We kept the existing vanity…just painted it out in SW’s Creamy White.  We also kept the laminate counter top and faucet (which I actually love…one of the only fixtures in the whole house that I liked).  The tile looks more pinkish here…but it is just a neutral khaki.  Some day I’d like to go solid surface in here…but for now this works!

We added the bead board and painted it in semi-gloss paint so it is easy to wipe down.

I switched out the formal gilded mirror for something a bit more playful.  I bought this turquoise beauty at Hobby Lobby when it went 60% off.   And then found a little rag rug at TJ Maxx for $8 in colors to compliment Bertha’s handiwork.  I have several of these mason jar soap dispensers from THIS SELLER on Etsy.  I INSIST on FOAMING hand soap at our house because my kids are unable to control themselves around regular gel hand soap…too many bubbles!   We’ve had great luck with these soap dispensers…they were worth spending a bit more to get the foam!

Of course…Bertha Mae’s art work is the piece de resistance in the room.  I complimented her work with some grungy metal clips I picked up at Junk Bonanza last fall.   Now….I’d really LOVE to just cover this whole room in water themed paint by numbers (have you see all my pins on Pinterest?)  So if you are out and about and score some cheap…send them my way

Bertha….you rock, girlfriend.  Your 1982 “Deer by Waterfall” had me at hello.

I think it is safe to say that most moms LOVE getting a new piece of amazing jewelry!  Hand stamped jewelry is all the rage right now.  And I am completely SMITTEN with this piece that Ann sent me this week!

Me and Mr. P on the main charm (with our anniversary)…and a sweet charm for each kidlet.  The GREAT thing about this necklace is…you can collect charms as you collect kids…BONUS!!

Ann and I go way back to our Ebay days together.  Back when our girls were teeny tiny and we were collaborating on outfits and jewels.  We’d meet at the park for play dates and let the girls run wild while we practiced our photography (ok…so I had some serious practice ahead of me!)

Do you remember these days, Ann??

I’ve been wearing Ann’s jewelry for a LONG time and have many special pieces!

You DO NOT want to miss out on this one!

{Before church this morning}

YOU can WIN your own NECKLACE and TWO CHARMS!!

1.  Leave a comment here about what you would like your charm to say

2.  Leave another comment if you “like” Hip Mom Jewelry” on Facebook

3.  Leave another comment if you follow @HipMomJewelry on Twitter.

You MUST leave separate comments if you want to be entered numerous times!  You have the opportunity to be entered up to THREE times!

Check out all her designs at Hip Mom Jewelry!!

I will leave the comments open until THURSDAY, MAY 10th and 9pm and then I will draw a WINNER!!  Just in time to order something nice for yourself for Mother’s Day!!

It’s not everyday that someone asks for my opinion.  Or an interview.  But I got an email this fall about doing an interview with Scholastic’s Parent and Child magazine.  I actually had to do a bit of investigating before I agreed because I thought the email was spam.  I mean, really…I’m a parent…and I’m a photographer…but certainly NO expert.

The interview came and went last December.  The writer and I had a nice chat about photography and being a mom while my boys slept through rest time.

Then I got an email a few weeks ago that the article had been published!  Kind of a fun surprise.  Especially since my poor photography business has been pretty weak here in the cornfields (dare I say “non-existent”).   There are just a few quotes…nothing spectacular from me…but it was a fun interview because I had the chance to talk about two things I LOVE:  Kids and Cameras!

If anyone has access to this publication…I’d love a copy!  I’ve tried to hunt one down locally without much success!

Hmm….maybe I should take my own advice and get back on the band wagon.  My camera has been a bit neglected the past few weeks with all the craziness!  I think I’ve got the itch

1.  First off…if I am going to continue this trend of phonography…I have REALLY got to get better at taking phone pictures!

2.  HAPPY MAY DAY!  Do you celebrate May Day in your neck of the woods?  In Kansas City we were always a bit of an oddity delivering May baskets to our friends.  I actually had a friend tell me that I was clever for coming up with the idea.  Umm….ever heard of the MAY POLE?  HA!  I was feeling right at home back in the cornfields today where kids seem to know about this fun little tradition!

3.  Ok. Ok.  I had totally forgotten about May Day (I’m blaming the sleep deprivation from sick kiddos).  My Mom called me this morning to remind me and suggested I head out to purchase supplies.  Then while Danny had his EEG appointment this afternoon…she whipped up the CUTEST May baskets with my kiddos.  They delivered a few this afternoon and then tonight after dinner we got on our GAME FACES for DING & DITCH!

4.  This is how you do the DING & DITCH.

Step One – drive to your friend’s house

Step Two – sneak up to the front of the house giggling like a school girl with May baskets in hand

Step Three – ring the door bell and knock like the Big Bad Wolf

Step Four – squeal and shriek and run as fast as you can back to the car

Step Five – pretend to be mad that your friends “caught you” while you giggle and hide in the back seat

5.  I’m glad the EEG is over.  We sleep deprived Danny and arrived at the hospital at 3:00 this afternoon.  I promptly gave him a bottle and he feel right asleep in my arms like a little angel.  We proceeded to get 24 of the 25 electrodes onto his head (quite the process with his little fro) when the technician accidentally caught his hair and Danny screamed and yanked out most of the wires  It went downhill FAST from there.  He would not fall back asleep so the rest of the test consisted of him screaming and us holding him down.  He is finally asleep upstairs and is hopefully recovering from the ordeal.  He was so tired today he had passed the point of  no return…he was laughing hysterically a creepy laugh all afternoon and most of the evening!

{I know I look mad…but at this point I was just praying he would STAY ASLEEP…we were SO close!}

6.  I have no words to describe the next picture.

7.   We have SO MUCH STUFF to get rid of.  I would love to do a big garage sale but I’m not sure I can get organized enough right now with our crazy schedules to pull it off.  If anyone local is looking to decorate a little girl room…I have some great things we are finished with!  Cute matching Target owl bedding (2 twin quilts, shams, sheets), art work, a Pottery Barn rug, bean bag chairs, and a toy basket.   And I have matching TWIN HEADBOARDS! Shoot me an email if you are interested!

{I miss their old room and sweet play room some days!  I’d love to find these items happy new homes!}

8.  STINKER.PANTS.

9.  Sam and his new BFF.   They are like two little old men together!  I love this “big head” shot of the two of them out to lunch at Noodles!

10.  Calling it a night, friends.  This sleep deprived Mama needs a break!

There is no doubt that the past few weeks have been pretty trying for our family.   We’ve been tested, and tested.  But we’ve also had the opportunity to do lots of PRAISING.  And today was a BIG PRAISE!  Anna had her appointment with the neuro-opthamologist this morning in Omaha.  My mom came over to hang with the boys and Mr. P and I headed up to the specialist with The Brainiac.

His diagnosis:  Pseudopapilledema due to chorioretinal atrophy

Which is a fancy way of saying:  God made her optic nerves a bit differently (smaller) which tricked us into thinking they are “swollen” when in fact they are not.  Those were the doctor’s words.  Pretty cool to have a specialist look you in the eye and say “God just made her this way!”

PRAISE GOD!  No treatment is necessary and we can check her off the list of “Kids to Worry About”.

So let’s talk about something NON-MEDICAL for a bit m’kay?  Cause I know the medical crazies at our house might be getting old for you too!

How about this little cutie I picked up a few weekends ago?  I’ve been wanting a small-ish desk to tuck into the corner of our family room for my lap top.  It was the perfect shade of bluish grey and had a distressed metal top which I presumed was zinc.  I hauled it home and set it up and “ooohed and aahhhed” for a bit.  Then my parents came over.  And my Dad said “WHY did you buy a lead top table?  Are you trying to kill your kids”  Those may not have been his exact words.  But the sentiment was similar.

WOOP, WOOP, WOOP.

We actually did some googling (and testing) and I DO believe that the table is ZINC topped.  But I couldn’t shake the nervousness so I opted to put this little friend to work.

This is a Ben Moore product that seals in surfaces and creates a “plastic coating”.  I applied 2 nice, even coats to EVERY surface of the desk (including that troublesome top) to make sure that the nice chippy paint stayed put.

It has an almost crocodile finish.  Not sure how that was achieved…maybe water or heat damage?

Now it is thoroughly plastic coated and I don’t have to worry about my children licking my table.   I don’t think there is anything that could possibly hurt this table top at this point.  It is a yummy mess!

{Cause I know you are gonna ask…the little cubby shelf is a PB knock-off from Gordmans}

SO what do you think?  Would you put something this grungy in YOUR house?  Or are you more of a formal furniture kind of gal?  I like to mix it up a bit…but I am definitely a sucker for anything with an old patina!

THANKS AGAIN for the many prayers for our family!

Danny has his EEG tomorrow.  He has to be SLEEP DEPRIVED so we put him to bed LATE and have to wake him up EARLY and then keep him awake until his 3:00 appointment.  Prayers appreciated!